Archive for November, 2011

Just had a fight and made up with my wife

November 1, 2011

Bonnie and I had a fight (an argument) about an hour ago. She was feeling tired, and I wanted to relax. It was about 10:30pm and we had had a long day.

Bonnie wanted something to eat, but didn’t feel she had the energy to prepare the food for herself. Nor did she feel comfortable asking me to prepare the food for her; I suppose she didn’t want to impose on me since she knew I was tired also.

But I sensed she would have liked to ask me to prepare it. I didn’t feel like doing it for her though. However, I felt that if I didn’t do it for her, I’d be letting her down.

So neither one of us was feeling right about what we were doing or not doing. I started yelling and making a big stink. As I was doing it, I was vaguely aware I was doing it simply because I didn’t feel right just  saying no. That’s gross, right? 🙂

Finally, we both went separate ways – she went upstairs with her snack (that she prepared while we were fighting) while I went downstairs to my “office” in the basement. I worked for a while on the computer, listening to old Queen hits, and doing a little work.

After a while, I heard Bonnie coming down the stairs to the basement. I turned off the music and said hi. We both smiled at each other and said “I love you” and we hugged. Bonnie told me she had done a 15-minute exercise routine that she enjoyed and took a bath which she enjoyed also. I told her what I had been doing.

We both apologized and explained why we had acted the way we did. She said she was going back upstairs and I said I was going to spend a bit more time downstairs and would see her soon.

One of the things I appreciate about where we’re at in our relationship is that we so clearly know the foundation of love that underscores our relationship. There were times in the past that, when we’d fight, one or both of us would get a vague fear that maybe the relationship was going to break apart.

We don’t seem to have that concern anymore. While we do occasionally have some pretty intense fights that can be quite unpleasant, they blow over so quickly, with such clarity about which end is up.

So now I’ll finish this post, as Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend” winds to a close, and go watch some television with my best friend.